So, life has a funny way of changing so much;
and in such a short space of time.
It makes me start to question things,
re-evaluate things,
look at things from a new perspective.
On Saturday, one of my besties,
and the only actual friend I have living in town,
told me she's leaving town,
that she was handing in her resignation.
It makes sense, and it's the best thing for her.
Really, it is.
She's been so miserable at work for ages, and it's taking it's toll on her.
On everything she says, does, thinks.
It's definitely the right thing for her.
But, it devastated me a little.
She has only been here for 5 years but that 5 years feels like a lifetime
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do without her,
she's the one I call on a regular basis,
for any reason at all.
She's the one I fangirl over The Hobbit, and Sherlock,
and numerous other things with.
She's the one who's place I randomly show up to,
or her at mine,
for no reason at all,
and it ends hours later with great conversations, dinner, and movies
She's the one I go and see movies with.
She's the one I tell everything to.
I really don't know what I'm going to do without her.
Sure, she's still a phone call away,
but she's also 8 hours drive
(on a good day),
so I can't really just decide, spur of the moment, that I want/need to see her.
It's gonna suck, but it's what's best for her.
She wrote out her resignation letter at my place on Sunday night.
She handed it in yesterday.
It's all very real now.
It made me start to question a few things.
Then on Sunday night my aunt died
I wasn't really sure how to feel, actually, I'm still not
She has been very sick for a long time
2 years suffering from cancer.
By the end she barely ate
and all she did was sleep
I felt bad when my first feeling was of relief, and not a lot of surprise.
She's no longer suffering, she's not in pain.
But at the same time, a wonderful, kind, spirited lady is no longer with us.
One of the few aunt's on my dad's side (she married my dad's brother)
who actually was interested in what my sister and I did
She didn't ask us when we were getting married
or when we're having kids like so many others do
She was interested in us, and what we wanted to do.
Her funeral is Friday.
She is being cremated
She would have had everything planned out, down to the last flower and song
She was just that sort of person
She wouldn't have wanted her husband, kids, grandkids, and great grandkids
(She was my aunt, but only a year younger than my Gran, they went to school together)
to have to organise that on top of their grief
That;s just who she was
All this change and upheaval has made me start to re-evaluate things
Big things and small things
Goals and wants and dreams
It has made me even more certain that physiology is what I want to do,
and that I want to work with the kids in a hospital like Westmead, or Randwick Children's Hospitals
It has made me more certain that I want a partner (ideally a husband), and children
I want a house filled with family and friends and laughter and love
But at the same time, it has made me more certain that I need to travel again,
That I shouldn't put off my trip to the UK any further
That, no matter what my mother says about finishing uni first,
I should put it off for a few years and go
Before husbands and kids come around
Uni will still be there when I get back
It's really not going anywhere
When my mum says 'wait' all I can think about is Barry doing Canada and the Rockies alone
Barry and Barbara had been talking about it for years
They were planning on going next year
Now he will go on his own, if he goes at all
I don't want to do that
I don't want to put off what I want to do, and can do, now, for later
A later that might never come.
My grandfather (my mum's dad), died when he was 62.
My Gran was a widow at 50.
My mum is 54, my dad 59 this year
It puts things into perspective
About ages, and being 'old' and how out views change as we get older
I loved doing Contiki through the USA a few years ago,
getting up early and going to bed late,
hauling my luggage up the stairs of our motels
(my roommate and I got every top floor whenever we stayed somewhere that didn't have an elevator)
running about to be places on time,
exploring new places with new friends
or on my own,
without a map, or any idea where I was going
I loved Vancouver when I lived there for 6 months nearly 3 years ago
Again, on my own
with no-one I knew,
and no idea what I was doing or where I was going.
I look at my parents doing a Topdeck tour through Europe a few months before I left for Canada
My dad was over hauling suitcases and travelling everyday by the end of it
My mum was over traipsing up and down stairs all the time
They needed the week they spent in Ireland, hiring a car and doing it at their own pace
they needed the week spent in Greece at the end of it all to unwind and relax
I don't want to be that age and struggling to do Europe,
being so exhausted at the end
I want to LIVE in the UK
Or Ireland, I'm not picky
I don't want to just holiday
Australia is so far away from everything else,
I need to make the most of whatever time I have to spend in these far off places.
A friend of mine (Canadian) asked if she could visit me when I move.
Of course she can
She said 'It's only a 6 hour flight from Toronto to London'
I'm pretty sure it's a 6 hour flight from Sydney to Perth
It's 3 hours to New Zealand
It's 9 hours to Japan
16 hours to the West Coast of the States/Canada
It's 24+ hours (depending on stop over length) to get to London
I want to stay for as long as I can. It's not like it's a simple trip to hop back over there to see something I didn't get to see before.
Morag's move, and Barbara's death have just solidified the knowledge that there is nothing in my hometown for me anymore
My school friends have all left or moved on, or we are no longer friends,
even if we still say hello to each other when we see each other
My family are all in various stages of moving
My sister bought a house last year with her partner and will be moving into it,
in another town (our uni town) in July, to be with him rather than long distance
My parents put their house on the market,
within a week there was an offer on it (just waiting to see if they get finance)
They will rent somewhere in town for 6 months,
and apply for jobs in and around Newcastle
They have a house down there that they are renting out to someone
They will move as soon as they get jobs
There will be nothing in this town for me by the end of the year most likely
Even my good friends at work are leaving me
Carlyn is going back home to Canada with her Aussie fiance,
and Josh is going with them
I have to do this for me, not for anyone else.
Time is too short,
and life is too precious
So, decide what you want to do,
what is important to you,
what you will regret not doing on your deathbed
Then go and do it
Life is too short to do what others want you to do at the expense of what you want
Dance, sing, laugh, travel, learn, experience, cry, believe and live
That is all you can do.
and in such a short space of time.
It makes me start to question things,
re-evaluate things,
look at things from a new perspective.
On Saturday, one of my besties,
and the only actual friend I have living in town,
told me she's leaving town,
that she was handing in her resignation.
It makes sense, and it's the best thing for her.
Really, it is.
She's been so miserable at work for ages, and it's taking it's toll on her.
On everything she says, does, thinks.
It's definitely the right thing for her.
But, it devastated me a little.
She has only been here for 5 years but that 5 years feels like a lifetime
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do without her,
she's the one I call on a regular basis,
for any reason at all.
She's the one I fangirl over The Hobbit, and Sherlock,
and numerous other things with.
She's the one who's place I randomly show up to,
or her at mine,
for no reason at all,
and it ends hours later with great conversations, dinner, and movies
She's the one I go and see movies with.
She's the one I tell everything to.
I really don't know what I'm going to do without her.
Sure, she's still a phone call away,
but she's also 8 hours drive
(on a good day),
so I can't really just decide, spur of the moment, that I want/need to see her.
It's gonna suck, but it's what's best for her.
She wrote out her resignation letter at my place on Sunday night.
She handed it in yesterday.
It's all very real now.
It made me start to question a few things.
Then on Sunday night my aunt died
I wasn't really sure how to feel, actually, I'm still not
She has been very sick for a long time
2 years suffering from cancer.
By the end she barely ate
and all she did was sleep
I felt bad when my first feeling was of relief, and not a lot of surprise.
She's no longer suffering, she's not in pain.
But at the same time, a wonderful, kind, spirited lady is no longer with us.
One of the few aunt's on my dad's side (she married my dad's brother)
who actually was interested in what my sister and I did
She didn't ask us when we were getting married
or when we're having kids like so many others do
She was interested in us, and what we wanted to do.
Her funeral is Friday.
She is being cremated
She would have had everything planned out, down to the last flower and song
She was just that sort of person
She wouldn't have wanted her husband, kids, grandkids, and great grandkids
(She was my aunt, but only a year younger than my Gran, they went to school together)
to have to organise that on top of their grief
That;s just who she was
All this change and upheaval has made me start to re-evaluate things
Big things and small things
Goals and wants and dreams
It has made me even more certain that physiology is what I want to do,
and that I want to work with the kids in a hospital like Westmead, or Randwick Children's Hospitals
It has made me more certain that I want a partner (ideally a husband), and children
I want a house filled with family and friends and laughter and love
But at the same time, it has made me more certain that I need to travel again,
That I shouldn't put off my trip to the UK any further
That, no matter what my mother says about finishing uni first,
I should put it off for a few years and go
Before husbands and kids come around
Uni will still be there when I get back
It's really not going anywhere
When my mum says 'wait' all I can think about is Barry doing Canada and the Rockies alone
Barry and Barbara had been talking about it for years
They were planning on going next year
Now he will go on his own, if he goes at all
I don't want to do that
I don't want to put off what I want to do, and can do, now, for later
A later that might never come.
My grandfather (my mum's dad), died when he was 62.
My Gran was a widow at 50.
My mum is 54, my dad 59 this year
It puts things into perspective
About ages, and being 'old' and how out views change as we get older
I loved doing Contiki through the USA a few years ago,
getting up early and going to bed late,
hauling my luggage up the stairs of our motels
(my roommate and I got every top floor whenever we stayed somewhere that didn't have an elevator)
running about to be places on time,
exploring new places with new friends
or on my own,
without a map, or any idea where I was going
I loved Vancouver when I lived there for 6 months nearly 3 years ago
Again, on my own
with no-one I knew,
and no idea what I was doing or where I was going.
I look at my parents doing a Topdeck tour through Europe a few months before I left for Canada
My dad was over hauling suitcases and travelling everyday by the end of it
My mum was over traipsing up and down stairs all the time
They needed the week they spent in Ireland, hiring a car and doing it at their own pace
they needed the week spent in Greece at the end of it all to unwind and relax
I don't want to be that age and struggling to do Europe,
being so exhausted at the end
I want to LIVE in the UK
Or Ireland, I'm not picky
I don't want to just holiday
Australia is so far away from everything else,
I need to make the most of whatever time I have to spend in these far off places.
A friend of mine (Canadian) asked if she could visit me when I move.
Of course she can
She said 'It's only a 6 hour flight from Toronto to London'
I'm pretty sure it's a 6 hour flight from Sydney to Perth
It's 3 hours to New Zealand
It's 9 hours to Japan
16 hours to the West Coast of the States/Canada
It's 24+ hours (depending on stop over length) to get to London
I want to stay for as long as I can. It's not like it's a simple trip to hop back over there to see something I didn't get to see before.
Morag's move, and Barbara's death have just solidified the knowledge that there is nothing in my hometown for me anymore
My school friends have all left or moved on, or we are no longer friends,
even if we still say hello to each other when we see each other
My family are all in various stages of moving
My sister bought a house last year with her partner and will be moving into it,
in another town (our uni town) in July, to be with him rather than long distance
My parents put their house on the market,
within a week there was an offer on it (just waiting to see if they get finance)
They will rent somewhere in town for 6 months,
and apply for jobs in and around Newcastle
They have a house down there that they are renting out to someone
They will move as soon as they get jobs
There will be nothing in this town for me by the end of the year most likely
Even my good friends at work are leaving me
Carlyn is going back home to Canada with her Aussie fiance,
and Josh is going with them
I have to do this for me, not for anyone else.
Time is too short,
and life is too precious
So, decide what you want to do,
what is important to you,
what you will regret not doing on your deathbed
Then go and do it
Life is too short to do what others want you to do at the expense of what you want
Dance, sing, laugh, travel, learn, experience, cry, believe and live
That is all you can do.
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