Australia Day Weekend Fun!!!

And some not so fun, but we'll get there.

So, the other day I got a call from Nat coz she had to cancel our dinner date because she had a co-worker's farewell to attend.

I understood, I did, really, but I was very disappointed.

I really wanted a chance to catch up with her, and o get everything about my dad off my chest to someone who wasn't involved in it.

But no worries, I got a message Friday night asking how I felt about a road trip to Sydney and a girls day. 

I said no way.

Kidding.

I said hell yeah!!!

So, Saturday afternoon, I packed my bags (after getting the day off work, and being told dad was coming home which is a whole other post entirely), and headed the 1.5 hours south to see one of my bestest ever friends. 

I mean, this was the girl who called me at 9am on a Saturday morning, when I was so hungover I seriously thought I would die, told me to get my arse in the shower, that she needed groceries, and I was going with her.

She banged on my bathroom door for about 5 minutes before I could make myself leave the warm confines of the shower stall that day.

Then proceeded to give me shit about it ever after. She still does.

Anyway...

I get there and am handed my bridesmaid dress and my wedding invitation (I had made a joke about not being invited because everyone already had there's and were sending them back and I hadn't even gotten one)

It's stunning.

See here:

Ans it's the blue in the picture and looks exactly the same.

They made them all to order, so we each got our dress in exactly our size.

And yes, I am trying to lose weight, but it laces up the back so as long as I don't lose 20 kg in the next 10 or so weeks, it'll still fit!

Nat was hesitant as none of us had bought made to order dresses, but they're perfect. I'm thinking I may cut the length of mine to my knees afterwards because you could definitely wear it shorter and it would still look amazing.

Fro Yo we had for dessert on Friday night

Anyway...

Sunday morning, bright and early we pack the car and hit the road. 

Part way there we remembered that, while we bought the snorkeling gear with us, we forgot the umbrella and hats. Oops.

So, We pick up Amy, then meander through the city to Wollongong where we pick up Boe, before heading down the South Coast. 

We ended up at Shellharbour. More specifically, Bushrangers Bay.

Yes, the rocks go right into the water. Makes it hard to get in and even harder to get out.

All images via Google.

It's an absolutely breathtaking place, and I wish I had my photos, but they were taken with Nat's phone.

It was here, on this pebbly beach, that we waddled into the water, laughing at each other as we tried not to fall over as we navigated the rocks in our flippers, and snorkeled in the wonderfully warm water for about an hour.

Too bad the water was a bit murky and we couldn't see very far.

The group of diver's getting their certificates made me want to join them.

After we all paddled (and I had a slight moment of panic when I felt like I couldn't breathe, as I always do when I first start to snorkel or dive after no having done it for a while), we sat on the warm rocks (using our towels as padding), and soaked up the glorious sun.

Then we headed for an actual beach, back up in Shellharbour.

Ah, the beach. Really nothing like it, and I really haven't seen any place (that's not a small island ala Fiji etc) that has beaches like ours. With kilometers of sand stretching out in both directions, the clear water, the atmosphere. 

To be honest, even when I was in the USA I found myself missing Australia's beaches.

This time I didn't get in the water.

Nat and I lazed around, soaking in the sun, and making pictures out of the clouds like we were 5 again.

Ok, so we did splash our feet in the waves, running in and out like crazy people and trying to splash each other like we were kids, but it was fun. All this while Amy and Boe bobbed about in the water.

It was a great day, and I had so much fun.

It was just what I needed. A day of fun, sun, water and my girlies.

All was good until we had dinner.

KFC

I ate it and within minutes was so hugely bloated it was difficult to take in a deep breath because my skin wouldn't stretch anymore.

I was so glad when we got to Boe's place and I could use her bathroom.

I felt better.

We dropped Amy off a home, and I took over the driving.

I felt ok. I had the window wound down so I could get some air but I was ok.

We were 20 minutes from Nat's place, still on the freeway, when I turned to her and said "We need to stop, I'm going to be sick".

I hit the breaks, hard (because I drive a manual and she drives and auto and I was reflexively looking for a clutch), put a hand over my mouth and a hand on the door.

Too late.

I was sick in her car.

I felt terrible about it later, after I'd got out of the car and was throwing up over the railing at the side of the road, while Nat cleaned up. (she said it was good practice for when the kids come along).

I took my dress off, used the clean part to wipe the grease (I could see it on my leg in the weak light from the car), and was forever grateful that I was still in my bikini, and not running around in my underwear.

Although, from the honks, and hollers we got from passing cars, I don't think they could tell the difference.

We made it home, and I spent the next 45 minutes curled around the toilet. 

I showered, then headed to bed.

And proceeded to get up about every 10-20 minutes, 30-40 if I was lucky, to throw up, or other things.

Even if I had nothing left to throw up, my body wouldn't stop.

I think it was trying to remove my organs my 3am.

Even water wouldn't stay down.

I finally dragged myself back to bed, carrying a bucket, and curled up, my clean beach towel under my head and seriously contemplated having to call my parents in the morning to come and get me because I didn't think I would be able to actually drive home.

Food poisoning...

I don't recommend it.

It took me 3 days to get over.

Thursday morning was the first morning I woke up without wondering if I would feel the need to vomit that day. I think the no work, and being able to sleep in helped immensely.

Thank god for amazing friends.

I put money in her bank account for car cleaning when I put the rest of the money for hair and make up in.

She wasn't happy, because she had told me not to...

That her car needed a clean anyway...

I didn't listen.

It alleviated my guilt just a little.

Needless to say I won't be eating KFC again.

Such a horrible way to end such an amazing weekend.

But. more good things to come :D

Well Hi There...

So, I've been trying for days, weeks really, to figure out how to start this blog. What do I talk about? How do I start it? What should my first post be about? How much do I tell you guys? Do I tell you everything, or should I think about it some before I post everything? Should I just sit here, and let my fingers type whatever they come up with, without censoring it? Should it be a purely positive blog, or should I tell you what's going through my mind at any given point, and at any given mood. Because we all know that no one is happy 100% of every day.

In the end, I didn't come to a conclusion about any of it. But, it's my blog, so really, it should be about me, and what feels right at the time. Shouldn't it? It's supposed to be about me, finding the real me in the mess that is life. Sorting through the chatter that is the rest of the world, and focusing on me and what I want, need and feel.

So, lets get started.

I am in my mid-20's. I have no children, nor do I have a partner. Much to the dismay of my extended family. My parents and grandmother (I only have one grandparent left) don't care as long as my sister and I are happy. My extended family on the other hand? Completely the opposite. The last family reunion (dad's family) we went to, I was continuously asked where my boyfriend was, when I was getting married, when I was having kids. When my reply was I don't have one, not getting married anytime soon because I don't even have said boyfriend, and I'm not having kids until I'm settled and stable, they turned away from me to speak to cousins and 2nd cousins (my dad is one of 12) who have kids/are pregnant/getting married. To them all that counts is getting married and popping out babies. (They all live in small country towns, most of them in the same one). My 2nd cousin who is 2 and a half months older than me just had her 3rd girl. I'm happy for her, I really am. If that's what they want to do, then that's fine. But I feel like, because I don't want to do that, I'm not considered worth talking to. Well, that's been my experience anyway. When questions were asked about what I'm doing/want to do/have plans for, you can see their eyes glaze over when it's 'I'm studying at uni, I've just come home from the USA, I've got a work visa for Canada, I'm finishing a psychology degree'. They just don't seem to care. And my sister and I have learned to live with it. It doesn't mean that it no longer makes us cranky, or feel unworthy because sometimes it does. We've just learned to brush it off, and she and I sit/stand together at these things now (on the rare occasion that we go).

Via Pinterest

Via Pinterest

I'm finally starting to learn this. When I'm around family, or looking at Facebook, or sometimes around some of my friends, I can only think about what they have/are doing etc, and think, 'That's what I should be doing by now', when really, it's not what I want to be doing. When I'm on my own, or with friends who aren't having babies and building houses, I remember that, while I do want that, eventually, there is so much more that I want to do and see and experience before marriage and babies and that part of my life starts. I'm still at university. I'm living with my parents (hopefully not for much longer), I'm still finding me. I'm not ready to have babies. Would I like a partner? Yes. If Mr Right, or Mr Right Now came waltzing in my door at this moment and wanted to start a relationship I would jump at it and take it with both hands.

The life I had planned out as a 17 year old who was finishing high school didn't take into account travel, and friendship problems. It didn't take into account that what I want would change over time. I'm sure I'm not the only one. You know, when you were finishing high school you had this plan for how your life would turn out. I was going to university to study law and psychology. I was going to get amazing marks, and become a very successful criminal lawyer. I was going to make amazing friends and have a university sweetheart. I was going to be married at 26, and starting a family by 28, no later than 30. I was going to own my own apartment (on my own), then rent it out when I got married to my Prince Charming, and we'd have our own apartment in the city. We'd then buy an actual house to raise a family in with dogs and cats.

Ahh, the wisdom of youth. Lets see how this actually turned out:

I went to university to study law and psychology. Met some amazing friends and some not so amazing ones. I had a boyfriend who I adored and who adored me. But, at the end of my third year we broke up after doing long distance for nearly 18 months (we are still very good friends). At the end of my 4th year I worked in the USA over the 3 month summer/Xmas break, and learned to ski and snowboard. I loved it. When I came back I failed (twice) one unit that was compulsory and I was no longer enjoying law. So I put the law degree on hold and just completed my B Arts. That summer I moved to Sydney to study personal training while finishing my Arts degree. I moved home and worked at the same place I'd been working at for 8 years. I was 23 and single.In the May of 2011 I went back to America, this time on a Contiki tour that I had an amazing time on. I met some of the best people I know. I'm still single. Then, 12 months later, June 2012, I moved to Vancouver for 5 months. I loved it. I loved everything about it. The people I met, the friends I made, the city as a whole. I felt like I belonged there. I felt happier there than I have in a while, even though I was on my own and knew no one.When my job hunting showed no results, and my money was running out, I moved back home. I started a new degree in Exercise Physiology, and I think I have finally found my calling. I'm working casually at a pub in town and I hate it. I hate everything about it. I'm 26, still single and desperately job hunting to get out of my parents house, and my somewhat home town. (I have lived her for nearly 17 years, and still feel less at home here than I did in New York or Vancouver).

When I feel like I'm failing at life (is that even possible?) I find myself looking at quotes like the above and reminding myself that just because I'm not doing what everyone else is, it doesn't mean I'm wrong. I don't have to do what everyone else is doing it. I have to do what feels right for me. When I see the disgust on peoples faces when I tell them about my travel, or my aunt (on my mums side) tells me how much she hates flying and she argues with me about overseas travel, I take a deep breath and remind myself that travelling like I do doesn't make me a bum. It makes me someone who is eager to learn about the world, and the people and things in it. It makes me someone who wants to experience everything the world has to offer. I don't want to me living in a tiny town, in a small bubble like most of my extended family. I want to see and do and feel and experience everything. I want to have a life and feel like I've had a life.

Via Pinterest

Via Pinterest

Via Pinterest

I am hoping to move to Sydney after Xmas. That is the plan. I'm applying for jobs at the moment. Reception and medical reception at the moment, but I'll also apply for retail, the gyms and cafes etc. I'd rather a 9-5 Monday-Friday job because, from the time I was 15, I have worked (with the exception of the USA) in jobs that started anywhere from 5am, and finished up to and including 11pm and later. I don't want to work weekends anymore. I don't want to work with food. I don't want to be continually washing my hands (the skin and nails on my hands are terrible, always cracking, splitting, flaking and really really dry). I want to be able to actually have a life and go out to dinner with friends. I want to join a gym and be able to go to the classes. I want to take acting classes, or singing classes, or dance classes and be able to commit to more than 1-2 weeks at a time. I want a stable roster that isn't "this is your roster for the next 2 weeks, but we could change it any time that we need to". I want a job that has to do with the degree I'm studying. I want a job that doesn't involve waitressing, or sales. I don't mind customer service like reception, or banking but I don't want to work for supermarkets.

I know, I know. A lot of 'I don't want this, I don't want that.' I'm trying to focus on what I do want. I wrote a letter to myself from the viewpoint of this time next year, detailing all I want to happen as if it has already happened. I might put bits and pieces of it up in another post. I won't put it all up, and I'll censor some of it. But it was a really good exercise. It made me focus on what I want to have happened between now and then. What I want things to be like. Jobs, partners, houses/apartments, hobbies. So, that's what I'm focusing on at the moment. And whenever I feel like things are overwhelming me, like right now with exams next week, or my parents are harping on about one thing or another, I just take a deep breath and focus on what I want to happen. And, if positive thinking is the trick, I'll get the job, and the apartment, and the life I want. I'll move out of town, make some amazing friends, have a job I enjoy (or at least don't hate), and be able to have a life outside of study and work.

Wish me luck

D